To Gary B., August 19th 1997, Basel
O Gary, sweet Gary! How I sometimes miss you! How I wish to sink into the kind of physical closeness which I felt with you that one night in May! Extensive sex and kissing and holding and sleeping and waking and sex again and licking and kissing and hugging and caressing ... just very very intense enjoyment and a lot of pleasure! So much time, so much going with the flow! O man, how I enjoyed it - and how I still smile and sigh, when I recall this feeling to me! I have told many people over here, that the time the two of us spent together in your bed and bathroom was the nicest "love making" I had ever experienced! - And I didn't just say that, I really mean it! You can be proud about this, man, because - well, I guess it is something quite special! I assume, that this one night stand has not been so extraordinary for you, for very often these kinds of feelings are not at all symetric! It would be nice however, if our encounter left some good memories with you, too!
After having left San Francisco at the end of May I spent another 10 days or so at the west coste (San Jose, Santa Barbara, san Diego), then I travelled across the country, breaking up my trip twice: Once in New Mexico and once in Tennessee. In both places I stopped at a rural gay comune - Zuni Mountain near Gallop, NM, and Short Mountain Sanctuary, near Murfreesboro, TN. The gay comunes were o.k., but I prefered by far the wind surfing lesson I took in San Diego or the heated discussion I had with Selma, an 82 year old Santa Barbara resident, political activist and former communist!, about sex and love and poverty and civil rights and resignation and fatigue ... Her energy and vitality was just a treat! Really inspiring! Reminded me a lot of a lady (long dead!) I came across in the context of the historical research I did these last years.
From Tennessee I took another bus (I travelled by grey hound again, for I have strong ecological resentments toward flying) heading for New York City, where I spent two very intense days with Jeffrey, a black guy struggling with homelessness and life in general, whom I had gotten to know in January. From the Big Apple I continued on down to Fort Lauderdale (near your old home grounds!), where I had found a sail boat ready to take me to Europe. I may have told you about this crazy plan of mine, which had not yet quite materialized, when we met. Well, in the meantime it had materialized and I did in deed sail. However: We didn't make it all the way over to Europe. After a seven day jurney the captain and the owner of the boat abbandonned me on the Bermudas, accusing me of "threat of muteny". Stuck on the Bermudas - a real expensive tourist trap, I would say! - my adventurous spirit had in turn abandonned me. Instead of sticking it out, exploring new possibilities etc. I just went to the airport and got a ticket to Switzerland -, to Mama and Papa and all my Friends! It was some kind of panic reaction, I would say now. But at the time it seemed the only thing to do and it seemed also the right thing to do! I returned thus somewhat prematurely to my apartment in Basel at the end of June!
In the meantime I am pretty much back in my old life. I am preparing the publication of my doctoral thesis and I am taking care of all kinds of administrative crap, which makes up so much of our dayly life, and I am improving things in and around my house! In the background the conflict with the boat people makes itself still be felt: Reports and all kinds of letters going back and forth between me and the travel agenc requesting and denying financial compensation for the unfair termination of my trip, for unfair it really was (of course!) ...
Well, man. This is in short, what has happened to me since we parted three months ago!
In 30 minutes I have to leave, for I am going to spend the day with an old lover of mine - in fact my first real lover! We want to go hiking and swimming, making use of the very warm weather we have since some weeks. Yesterday evening I went in-line-scading
I have never done this before but it had for years been one of these things I wanted to try. Well, I tell you! It was just great! Very nice and enjoyable and quite doable, even without sight, as long as there is enough room or as long as we don't feel that we have to go as fast as everybody else! We scaded for about 2 hours through a big park near Basel, with very few people and enough space to really get going ... O o o o ! It was very nice!
In September I will officially begin with my new research project. Then the time of fun and unlimited freedom will be over for a while, although my work still leaves me a lot of space and freedom, certainly more then your work leaves you. - Speaking of which: Are you still working at this restaurant, and are you still going to school? Are you still determined to make something out of your life - something more then to just hang out and have a good time? - If you feel like writing, tell me about you. Tell me, how you have been these last months, and tell me, you love me (if it is true), for this I would very much enjoy to hear! .... No, serious: Just tell me about you.
Coming to the end of this letter I want to once again tell you how much I enjoyed being with you, how much I enjoyed your gentleness , your softness and your tenderness! I really thank you with all my heart for what you given to me that one night! Thank you, thank you, thank you, man! - I kiss you with my whole longing body and I say good bye! I hope that things are going all right for you, and if they don't, I hope, that you have the strength to deal with whatever difficulty is blocking your way! I hug you and kiss you once more ... and one more time ... and once more! - Good bye and much love!